(Source: rockchicren)

There are some days I forget to eat
and soon my hands are shaking
like nervous butterflies.
I worry that I don’t drink enough water.
So I drink glass after glass after glass,
until my teeth are chattering
from an internal ice bath.
They say ice water burns
more calories.
I drink water until I think I might throw up,
water.
Because I hear it flushes toxins, you know?
What toxins?
I’m just a fleshy body, it’s not as if I’m eating heavy metals
for breakfast.
And sometimes,
while I’m making toast (which takes an eternity
in my little toaster oven)
I find myself with a spoon in the jam jar,
eating it straight.
Does anyone actually like bread?
Just plain bread?
I feel as if it’s merely a vehicle for jam.
Used only to deliver fruity sweetness
into my mouth.
My mom mails me her homemade jam.
Whole shoeboxes of jars that I line up
in my freezer.
I like that jam
because it makes my kitchen
taste like her kitchen.

So I got up early at 8 am to watch Blue Valentine again because apparently I like to cry and emotionally destroy myself before going to work…??