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Anonymous: Hi, so I've been looking for BPD symptoms twice in my life, in extreme moments I couldn't explain why I acted in a particular way. As questions about BPD started showing on my dash I checked sites about BPD again. I'm better recently, had only minor problems with myself and don't want to overreact or looking for mental illness because it's so unique or something, but just because I want to know what's going one.You've said, you have to be diagnosed with at least 5/9 symptoms (1/5)

Hi there. Thanks for writing me, and you aren’t wasting my time, okay? I did read all 5 of your messages, I’m just not going to post all of them, I hope that’s okay.
I am honored that you chose to tell me your story and share your experiences with me, but I just want to remind you that I am NOT a doctor. I’m not even a graduates nurse yet. So I can’t tell you whether you have a mental illness or not, regardless of how much information you give me. It would be irresponsible of me (or anyone else online!!) to do so. But if you think you have BPD I really encourage you to please see a doctor and get properly assessed. Worrying yourself by googling symptoms is not productive, and I think it’s better to just find out for sure whether you have an illness or not.
To comment on a few things in your messages: smoking doesn’t count as an impulsive behavior, especially if you’ve been smoking since age 14, people with BPD aren’t stalkers, your description of “chronic feelings of emptiness” is not what that symptom actually means, and overwhelming people you care for is not the same as idealization/devaluation.
I’m sorry to invalidate multiple things you described to me, I’m not trying to be rude, I just wanted to point those things out because you did mention that you thought you might be misinterpreting symptoms.
What concerns me about your messages is that you said you have “looked” for BPD symptoms. In my opinion, if you have a serious mental illness, you don’t need to go looking for the symptoms. They are so glaringly obvious and they interfere in your life on a DAILY basis. I never had to go looking for symptoms, they were constantly present, and they ruined my life so many times that it was eventually impossible to ignore them. Everyone acts poorly in situations sometimes, or makes decisions they can’t logically explain. That’s not necessarily indicative of a mental illness.
I’m not saying this to try and invalidate you and your struggles, so please don’t think that. I am just being honest about how I experience BPD myself. Once again, if you think you might be struggling with a mental illness of any sort, please seek professional help from someone trained in this area. They can properly assess your behaviors and feelings, which no website is capable of doing.
If you feel like you are struggling with your mental health, then that’s a valid problem, and you deserve to get help and start feeling better. It doesn’t matter if you have BPD, or a different disorder, or if you fit no diagnostic criteria at all. If you think there’s a problem, you should talk to a doctor and find out what’s going on. You know yourself better than anyone else does! So trust your gut instincts if you think that something is wrong.
Good luck! And feel free to message me back if you want, because like I said, you aren’t bothering me or wasting my time. :)

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Anonymous: How do you know the difference between intense feelings caused by BPD, and just intense feelings? I looked up BPD after you said you had to be 18 to be diagnosed, and how the wiki page explained the intense feelings symptom fits me really well (especially the idealization and devaluation of others), but I'm 17 and have always blamed those feelings on my anxiety disorder. Now I'm wondering if I'm on the path to BPD, since my birthday is in a few months.

While there is absolutely a difference, I don’t really know how to tell you what that difference is, because I only experience my life the way it is, you know? I experience my emotions through the lens of BPD, and so I don’t know anything else.
You need a minimum of 5 of those 9 symptoms for a diagnosis, so if you don’t have a number of symptoms besides emotion dysregulation, BPD probably isn’t a good fit. Many people identify with some symptoms, or have “borderline traits”, but that doesn’t mean that all those people have a mental illness. That being said, if you’re concerned you might have it, I urge you to speak to a doctor as soon as possible. It’s better to get a proper assessment than to speculate.
If you have BPD, then you already have it, even though you’re 17. You just can’t have an official diagnosis until you’re an adult, for various reasons. Also, you can have BPD and an anxiety disorder as well, that’s a possibility for sure.
Please feel free to message me back if you have more questions or want to talk about this! Anonymous is okay, or if you message me through your account I promise to reply privately.

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emilyhaaines:

nothing matters more than emily haines

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Has anyone else noticed that in psychiatric or mental health settings a LOT of people smoke?
I always smoke when I go to DBT group on Wednesday afternoons now, because on break almost everyone goes outside to smoke. And I’m supposed to be try and be “less abrasive and antisocial”, so that results in me smoking on break too. Because apparently the only way I know how to make friends or talk to people at group is standing outside in the snow and staring at them while we all inhale toxins.
It just seems like all crazy people like smoking IDK. I’ve noticed it in a lot of different mental health situations, not just with DBT recently.

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